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I am a loser, in the best sense of the phrase.

It has taken me a long time to brave the scales. Mostly because I had convinced myself that I was getting nowhere.

It was back in January that I first noted a few pounds had dropped off my total. That was significant for me because ti was the first time that my weight had started to go down again after the disaster that was unlimited free fizzy drink.


By July I was looking at my body and thinking that I was stuck at far too big and far too heavy.


But the truth was that just doing the few sensible things of being moderately healthy and focusing on getting my life back after being close to utterly disabled by my back meant that I was slowly shedding the extra pounds.

Thus I discovered that I am down half a stone.


All that without "rabbit food dinners" and calorie counting. Just common sense and, if I am honest, a fair amount of cake, donuts and chocolate.

The chances are that I could have lost more but that I am, on aggregate, going in a downward trend without effort is good enough for me.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 12/08/2014 · [permalink] · Add comment

I have been suffering from a case of black dog.

No that's not some strange illness or STD it is simply my name for the depression that stalks my life.

Black Dog

» Keep reading Black Dog Days

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 01/08/2014 · [permalink] · Add comment

I have been sitting on my fat arse playing Elder Scrolls but the online version sucked.

Elder Scrolls is an RPG game that is basically loads of fun to play. You can read more about me playing it here. However the online version was not so good. Elder Scrolls Online can kiss my big fat arse.

That is all.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 25/03/2014 · [permalink] · Add comment

Mel shows us the truth behind the "before" and "after" shots by transforming herself in just 15 minutes.

Part of the function of advertising is to make you want a product. This works by creating the perception of need which requires you to feel dissatisfied with something. This is different from real need - in order to sell you my deliciouse cooking I simply need to show it to you when you are hungry and say want some?

On the other hand to sell you my old carpet which I am about to throw away I would have to first convince you that your carpet is so very bad that my old carpet would be an upgrade. The chances are though that my old carpet is only a different colour (and not the one it was when it was first put down). In short I've got to almost, but not quite, lie to you.

This is what diet marketing does. It needs to sell you a product that you probably do not need. In many cases it wants to sell you a product that you definitely don't need. So it gives you two messages. "You are not good enough" and "your current diet product is not good enough". After all if you and your diet were good enough you would have lost the weight by now... right?

Mel has deftly shown us just how much horse crap this message is. The before and after images used show us that you too can be good enough if only you had the success of the person in the image.

Of course the truth is that diet products are as real as horse feathers and as necessary to being healthy as headbutting the wall ten times daily. If you read my blog regularly then you probably know this - I see no proof that diets work at all. This is because being fat is not the problem it is the symptom.

For the new comers here is the truth about changing your body shape: Dieting is hype Quick fixes are undone twice as quickly. Long lasting change takes time and effort. Lasting change is never, ever quick. My fat arse did not become fat one evening while I sat down to eat an extra slice of my nan's Christmas pudding (which by the way was the best on the planet) it happened slowly so that I did not notice it. The road back is the exact same process but in reverse.

My BMI (a doubtful measure at best) will not change from one month to the next. I must change and then one day while I am busy becoming a different person my body will, slowly, catch up to the new me.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 10/01/2014 · [permalink] · Add comment

The Diet industry is huge so can we trust anything it says?

I've been thinking about this of late. The diet and weight loss industry is truly massive. A lot of money os made selling us products and foods that conform to complicated science that we do not really understand.

There is a lot of money to be made by convincing people to keep doing something that has minimal impact but is easy and so feels like I'm doing something. Switch it up every few years and target new complex fat types and there is an endless stream of people going oh, so that's why X was not working out so well. I was doing Y.

Then when it fails to work tell the customer they did it wrong because they also need less or more of something you are ready to sell them.

Because our bodies tend to react slowly there is a short term gain followed by loss and it feels like we are the ones getting it wrong.

Have we just been lied to over and over again? I think maybe we have.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 08/01/2014 · [permalink] · Add comment

Starting a new chapter as 2014 approaches and returning to serious writing.

It has been a long time since I wrote about anything health and lifestyle related and Boxing Day seems a good a time as any to start a new chapter. I have for the longest time wanted to start writing about Theological, Logical and Spiritual matters but have, for various reasons stopped short.

Have I, I wondered, got enough to say to make it worth while people even bothering to read about such things? Could I after saying looking into the Bible for a few months really have anything of note to add on that subject? Having read some of the far more interesting atheist articles on the web anything of interest to add to that school of debate? After all I hardly seem to have enough to say about being a fatty.

Could I be interesting enough? I ask. After all Keith, a good friend and far superior writer, was from the get go better than I think I could ever be. Winning awards with his very first attempts. There are people funnier than I am, more articulate than I am, more insightful than I am and on the whole better qualified than I am to write about matters of the soul and our place in the universe.

» Keep reading Spiritual Fatty? A confessional.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 26/12/2013 · [permalink] · Add comment

Being diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis has robbed me of the illusion that I am, somehow, immortal and left me just a little bit wiser.

One day I am going to die and strangely I am comfortable with that so long ass that one day is still a long way off. The strength I might have enjoyed in my youth is gone, Ankylosing Spondylitis has seen to that, but before it fades completely I want to do whatever it is that I am going to do with my life.

That list was so long once. Become rich, improve the country, fix my hometown, write books, engage in frerunning, be slim, be admired by all,do everything...

But when I really think about it what I want more than anything else is to live a long happy life, to grow old with someone and then to know that I will be remembered fondly long after I am gone and to die peacefully at a ripe old age. So this fatty has a new aim: to reduce from my life those things that make me unhappy and to find contentment as soon as possible. Maybe I will never diet again, never be slim and never be rich. If I can know true happiness though - that, surely, is to have lived.

Old man looking
Posted by: Matthew Brown on 24/08/2013 · [permalink] · Add comment

Blogger "The Fat Chick" writes that it is about time that we stop stigmitising the large and demand proof that diets work. More than that is it not about time we say - why should I be treated as a lessor person because of the myth that diets working?

Amen, sister.

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 23/08/2013 · [permalink] · Add comment

I'm super excited about the idea of running a story writing workshop.

So much so infact that I cannot think of anything remotely witty or interesting to write about regarding being a big fat biffer, my personal weight loss journey and what it is like to have a gut that requires stupidly big shirts.

I just want to write about writing. honestly it's like an addiction right now.

Let's get to the action scenes already!

Exploding Car
Posted by: Matthew Brown on 06/08/2013 · [permalink] · Add comment
Sugar sugar
Well, after a summer of no real effort beyond avoiding the worst kind of foods I was unsurprised to find that I have lost not a pound at all. Fortunately I am not gaining anything any more so the ballooning up is over.

You might have noticed that I have not blogged very much. You might even have noticed that I have not written much anywhere on the web. This has a good, health related reason.

Over the last two months I have been taking an anti inflammatory that can, rarely, cause depression and confusion. Guess what side effects I have been enduring? It was like someone took my IQ and turned it down to 50%. Nasty.

So recently I went back to my GP and said that enough was enough and I wanted to take something that harmed my mind a lot less. Surprised he agreed and also said that he wanted to send me for a diabetes test as my last test came back blood sugar very high.

I confess this might have been due to fear.

How does fear spoke your blood sugar level?

» Keep reading Diabetic and fat?

Posted by: Matthew Brown on 31/07/2013 · [permalink] · Add comment